Scrooge McDuck: Tougher than the Toughies
by Stretch Snodgrass
Summary: Scrooge McDuck has been sent to jail three times. He's been forced to move his money bin. The Beagle Boys have turned his nephews into gold. The fate of St. Canard has been placed in his hands. It's time for Scrooge to show that he's tougher than the toughies. Nobody, not even city hall, will get in his way. Ma Beagle reflects on Scrooge's victory. Reviews appreciated.
1. The Prosecution of Scrooge

Scrooge McDuck: Tougher than the Toughies

Ma Beagle reflects on how Scrooge McDuck cracked down on her family, fought Duckburg City Hall, and made St. Canard a safe place to live.

The Prosecution (and Persecution) of Scrooge McDuck

Ma Beagle had once been a proud woman. And why not? She was the matriarch of her family, the dishonest and delinquent Beagles. The Beagles were the terrors of Duckburg. Always in and out of jail, always kings of the criminal element, always plotting and scheming to steal all the dough in Scrooge McDuck's money bin.

The family's fame and bad name was in large part Ma Beagle's doing. But it seemed those days were now over. The Beagles, who had always been discussed with fear and dreading, the inexpugnable Beagles, were all, save her, imprisoned. What's more, Ma Beagle had no way to break them out. The city's government, even that of the state, had just about waged all out war on her clan. To make matters worse, they had won.

"It's all Scrooge's fault," brooded Ma Beagle.

It _was _all Scrooge's fault. Scrooge was never one to pass up a bargain, as long as it was an honest one. Given McDuck's profound dislike of lawyers and politicians, Ma Beagle was still stunned he would use his hard won influence to turn Duckburg's city administration upside down. But then again, Scrooge had always advertized himself as "tougher than the toughies," and why wouldn't he use his power to twist arms? Scrooge was pushed too far by the city and state governments. So why wouldn't he use his power to push them back?

When Scrooge had been framed for grand theft by Flintheart Glomgold, rather than launch what would have been an extremely lucrative lawsuit, he settled for his complete exoneration and a bit of humiliation for his rival. (1)

But then, Scrooge was arrested again as a "lookalike imposter" . . . and broke out again, with the help of that caveduck Bubba.

"I spend hours upon hours baking my boys out of jail, while all that scatterbrained prehistoric does is ride a lizard through the walls!" Ma Beagle fumed.

This second jailing of Scrooge McDuck was again Glomgold's doing. Big Time had told her as much. (2)

Scrooge was exonerated. However, only a few weeks went by before the old miser's next entanglement with Duckburg City Hall. In an effort to steal Scrooge's money, Big Time, Burger, Baggy and Bouncer had redrawn the plans for the city's new freeway. The route went right through Scrooge's money bin. Scrooge spent millions moving his bin, only to have Ma Beagle steal it with the help of her son MegaByte and Scrooge's new robot employee "Gizmoduck".

Then Scrooge was wrongfully imprisoned for the third time . . . by Ma Beagle herself, using her newly won influence with the Chief of Police. However, Scrooge was soon freed by Gizmoduck, who had escaped Ma Beagle's influence. After an entanglement with some space aliens, McDuck destroyed the freeway, retrieved his money bin, and replaced it in it's original position.

Still nothing. What came next must have been the last and final straw; complete humiliation by some loudmouth journalist named Loudmouth. Scrooge was again left a wanted man by a mixup over the secret identity of a "hero" named the "Masked Mallard." (4) Upon McDuck's name being cleared, _yet again_, Scrooge was able to push through a mall project. However, there were rumours that Scrooge was tired of his fights with the law. It seemed that Scrooge Mcduck was now going to be "tougher than the toughies" when it came to dealing with the city government.

(1) _Duckman of Aquatraz_. Glomgold is forced to keep a picture of Scrooge McDuck above his fireplace for 20 years.

(2) _Time is Money - Part 4, Ducks on the Lam._ The Beagle Boys were working for Glomgold throughout the five-part serial.

(3) _Super Ducktales _

(4) _The Masked Mallard_

Given Scrooge's repeated scrapes with the law, I don't think it would be out of line if he were to use his influence to try and improve city governance. That is, so long as he does nothing illegal or dishonest. Scrooge is actually shown to lobby the government in Ducktales_. _In _Spies in their Eyes _Scrooge competes for a secret submarine contract. In _Catch as Cash Can Part 2 - A Whale of a Bad Time_, Scrooge threatens Admiral Grimitz by intimating he'll take up the matter with the President.

Nonetheless, Scrooge is also shown to hold politicians in contempt. When awaken by the Junior Woodchuck alarm, Scrooge cries out "Robbers, thieves, politicians" (_Wronguay in Ronguay, Treasure of the Golden Suns Part 2_)


	2. The Fall of the Banana Republic

The Chiquita in the Coal Mine: The Fall of the Banana Republic

The first clue something was up came, strangely enough, off the coast of South America in the tiny Banana Republic. Scrooge had once been nearly executed there for manhandling the country's sadistic dictator, General Chiquita.(1) This fact hadn't gone well with the U.S. State Department, which naturally enough objected to Americans being summarily executed.

Two months later, a surprise coup overthrew the General's supposedly iron rule. The new _elected_ president, Signor Gran Queso(2), was the former manager of Scrooge's Banana Bran Flakes factory. Tongues wagged, but things were generally much better in the new "Banana Island Commonwealth" and nobody but the exiled General Chiquita and his goons complained.

(1) _Allowance Day_

(2) Gran Queso means "Big Cheese" in Spanish.

Scrooge having a role in the overthrow of a foreign government looks rather bad. I justify it by the fact that the Banana Republic was extremely poor, the people looked very unhappy, and General Chiquita was both cruel and dishonest. After all, why should Scrooge have a problem overthrowing General Chiquita? Scrooge helped overthrow Count Ray in _The Duck in the Iron Mask_.


	3. Scrooge Conquers St Canard

Scrooge Conquers St. Canard

Next, Scrooge upped his game. St. Canard, of all places, fell to the power of Scrooge McDuck. Ma Beagle knew from the now jailed Lawrence Loudmouth that Scrooge had always despised the city. Said Loudmouth, "Tougher than the toughies? Here's the scroop, friends! Scrooge is a coward! Ever been to St. Canard? Notice there's no McDuck anything there? You know why? He's afraid. I've got it on good authority that Scrooge . . . the alleged alien Elvis impersonator in disguise . . . is boycotting one of our greatest cities." (1)

What followed was a candid, and illegal video of Scrooge talking to his then pilot Launchpad, before the latter's rather brief stint in St. Canard. "Why go there, Launchpad me boy? To help some masked idiot fight the other masked fools in that lunatic burg?'

"It's a challenge," Launchpad replied. "Being a hero . . . well, the sidekick to a great hero like Darkwing Duck, and helping him take down the worst criminals in the country!"

"Ach!" sneered Scrooge. "Worst criminals! Worst and most ridiculous. That miserable place is overrun with bizarre happenings and always seems to face destruction by the craziest of characters."

"It's just the place where I can make a difference" said Launchpad.

"Brigadoon!" said Scrooge. "Make a difference _there_? The place lapses into complete lawlessness every couple of months. Why, I don't even think the normal scientific laws really work there? How else can you explain a _plant duck _or an _electric man_?"

"Bushroot and Megavolt?" (1)

"Those are the ones," said Scrooge, with disgust evident in his voice. "I've never had anything to do with St. Canard and I hope I never will_."_

"Ah, come on, Mr. McD" said Launchpad. "You must have some investments there."

"Nothing," said Scrooge, with an bizarre tinge of pride in his voice. "The closest thing I have is a McDuck Burger restaurant two miles outside of town."

"What, you leave the place to Glomgold?" asked Launchpad, surprised.

"Glomgold's not that much of a fool," observed Scrooge. "The only businessmen who own anything in St. Canard actually live there. How they make their profit . . . well, I guess they're able to babysit their interests. I'm not going to do battle with that chainsaw wheedling lunatic, Negaduck, for the privilege of running Hamburger Hippo." (3)

Ma Beagle knew that Glomgold thought the same way. Years ago, Glomgold had met with her in secret. Glomgold thought he could get the edge on Scrooge by expanding into St. Canard. He had proposed hiring _all _of the Beagle Boys to act as the bodyguard and executive for a mass expansion in the city. However, Ma Beagle had turned him down flat. The Beagles were definitely not a bunch of lousy semi-white-collar yuppies. Ma Beagle didn't know whether she was more insulted or embarrassed. Glomgold, however, got something out of the meeting. Two black eyes and a broken arm.

At any rate, a master criminal, Taurus Bulba, had set up a mega-corporation called Quackworks. Through his company, he had somehow taken over the entirety of St. Canard. Bulba was defeated by Darkwing Duck and company, died, leaving his company and the city at the verge of bankruptcy. The U.S. government decided they had to bail both city and company out. Scrooge was offered the company's chairmanship, and he accepted. It was widely believed that there was something behind it. (4)

Launchpad McQuack had first crack as president of Quackworks. However, while Launchpad did a surprisingly well as president of the company, the city remained as wacky and wild as ever. Scrooge must have hated having to read about how his interests were regularly being threatened by a group of cockamamie super criminals. So, Scrooge got tough.

Corporate reorganization was his first task. Scrooge bought up Quackworks outright, placing virtually every industry in St. Canard under his exclusive control. Quackworks was merged into Scrooge's own corporation, and Launchpad's position reduced to that of Vice President of McDuck Enterprises' Enterprises in St. Canard and Vicinity

"Then came his war on crime," thought Ma Beagle grimly.

Who would have thought that Scrooge McDuck, of all people, would have tamed St. Canard? No sooner had Launchpad accepted his demotion to Vice President, was he recalled to Duckburg. Ma Beagle didn't know how Scrooge managed it. Ma Beagle supposed Launchpad's first love was flying, and that he preferred that to being a crime fighter's second banana. Launchpad was also as much a yuppy as her boys, and he probably didn't enjoy corporate responsibility. World trotting adventure and the Junior Woodchucks beckoned back in Duckburg. (5)

Fenton Crackshell, Scrooge's personal accountant, was given Launchpad's vice presidency. Simultaneously, Scrooge dispatched Gizmoduck to St. Canard full time. The first two moves made sense (although Ma Beagle had met Fenton Crackshell and was surprised Scrooge would trust _him_ with that big a job). Scrooge's third move didn't. Scrooge sent local inventor Gyro Gearloose to St. Canard as well. Why, well, initially nobody knew.

Launchpad was interviewed on the changes, but his answer left everybody confused:

"Hey, it's a secret. But, I'll tell you this. Mr. McDee wants to make St. Canard pretty boring. I didn't like it when Bulba did it, but I guess as a Junior Woodchuck Troop leader I'm behind Mr. Mr. Dee all the way."

Ma Beagle guessed that as a goody-goody Junior Woodchuck, Launchpad was (reluctantly) applauding an impending crackdown on St. Canard's crime problem. And . . . she was right. (6)

At first, things appeared normal. Darkwing Duck, in conjunction with Gizmoduck, had, over the course of two months, taken Bushroot, Megavolt, Quackerjack and the Liquidator into custody. However, the villains didn't break out again, as was expected. Nor were they to be found in the city jail or the nearby state prison.

It was rumoured they had been moved to McDuck Tower, that is to say the old Quackworks building. Strange reports surfaced, Darkwing Duck had confronted Fenton Crackshell and Gyro Gearloose on the building's front steps . . . .

"_But Bushroot's one of my criminals!_" Darkwing Duck complained.

"It's for the best," said Fenton Crackshell. "We're doing everybody a big favour. Including _you."_

'I don't want a favour like this," Darkwing Duck insisted. "It's like being stabbed in the back. Neutralizing one of my archenemies? How'd Mr. McDuck like it if I went to Duckburg and fought the Beagle Boys?"

"I don't think he'd mind," observed Gyro Gearloose.

"So long as you didn't charge him for it," added Fenton.

"Well . . . this is my _turf_," insisted Darkwing Duck.

"Don't be silly," said Fenton, in a voice that for a moment sounded suspiciously similar to Gizmoduck's. "Only criminals talk about _turf_. Well, criminals, gardeners and golfers." (7)

What the argument was about, no one knew. That is, until, Scrooge made his fourth and last move. The world famous psychiatrist, Professor Ludwig Van Drake appeared unexpectedly in St. Canard. (8) A crowd watched as he rode up to McDuck Tower in a dark, bulletproof limousine. An hour or so thereafter, four different ambulances arrived. Finally, a gruff looking grizzly bear appeared, leading a group of twenty to thirty SHUSH agents.

Orderlies wheeled out four patients; the patients were sedated, tied to their gurneys and wrapped in straight jackets. Two ducks, one dog, and one rat. One duck was obviously Quackerjack, the rat was evidently Megavolt. The other duck . . . it took a while for the crowd to comprehend, only a few had ever seen his photo . . . his photo as he _originally_ was.

"Bushroot!" yelled the crowd. So the other dog must have been "Bud Flood, the Liquidator!"

Their powers had gone, and Gearloose had returned them to normal. Insane, but otherwise normal.

"Three cheers for McDuck!" cried a voice from the crowd.

There came such a hearty cheer from the crowd that Drake Mallard, who was watching the scene on T.V., was compelled to furiously kick in his screen.

Professor Von Drake committed the mad criminals to four different lunatic asylums, in four different states. The criminals hadn't been heard from since. Shortly thereafter, Negaduck was captured and committed to a fifth asylum. (9)

Gyro handed his mutancy cure to Dr. Sarah Bellum, the SHUSH researcher. Dr. Bellum went slightly overboard in SHUSH's ensuing anti-criminal mutant campaign, curing the unwilling Stegmutt (along with every other mutant in the city), but nobody seemed to care much. (10)

By the time Gyro returned to Duckburg, he was widely regarded as a hero. Likewise did Professor Ludwig Von Drake get a standing ovation as he left via the St. Canard Airport. His standing in the medical world meant that his committal papers for the Fearsome Five were virtually unimpeachable.

For the first time in many years, St. Canard was virtually crime free, and with the police, SHUSH, Darkwing Duck and Gizmoduck on patrol, nobody feared for their life. The city's lawlessness had ended, and boringly enough even the laws of physics seemed to be restored. Scrooge reaped the accolades as well as the financial awards. He also managed to make a fortune on official Gizmoduck merchandise. (11)

Darkwing Duck was reduced to fighting his new archenemy, the theatrical Tuskernini. They kept one another busy, and supposedly happy, and one might even conclude that Scrooge had let him escape from his dragnet as a concession to the "duck who flaps in the night." (12)

(1) A rather strange allegation Loudmouth throws at Scrooge in _The Masked Mallard_.

(2) This conversation contradicts _Beauty and the Beet_, the third episode of Darkwing Duck. _Beauty _explains the origin of the "plant duck." Launchpad is already established in St. Canard at this time. My explanation: Launchpad just started working for Darkwing Duck, and is formally quitting Scrooge's on and off again employment. Launchpad worked for Darkwing throughout much of the second season of Ducktales, thereby explaining his frequent absences from the show. On the occasions where Launchpad is absent from _Darkwing Duck, _he's back in Duckburg.

(3) The burger chain Launchpad becomes a fan of in _Darkwing Duck_

(4) The plot of _The Duck Knight Returns_. Generally, in this story, I'm taking_ The Duck Knight Returns _as (mostly) true, but ignoring the rest of the comics.

(5) My guess is that Launchpad would have eventually returned to Duckburg permanently. Employment with Scrooge offers more flying, and living in Duckburg offers more chances to pursue interests like the Junior Woodchucks. I'll choose _Duck to the Future_'s scenario (where Launchpad is a "crash course" professor in Duckburg) over the _Time and Punishment _scenario (Launchpad is the driver of a flying cab in St. Canard).

Launchpad would probably choose flying over a corporate position. With Gizmoduck around, Darkwing Duck wouldn't need a sidekick anymore - especially with St. Canard having been cleaned up.

(6) In _The Duck Knight Returns_, Launchpad is furious with Bulba for taming St. Canard and making it boring. I believe that so long as St. Canard is crime free, and not a dictatorship, Launchpad is obliged to accept that as an improvement. I find it doubtful that the _Junior Woodchuck Guidebook _would endorse criminals so long as they made a city interesting.

(7) Darkwing Duck has always been jealous of his "turf." The most infamous example is _Just Our Justice Ducks_, where Darkwing Duck's ego results in St. Canard falling to the Fearsome Five.

(8) Professor Von Drake appears in _The Golden Fleecing_.

(9) They might technically not all be _criminally _insane, but I say they're insane. As for curing the Liquidator and Bushroot _probably _against their will, they've been using their powers for crime so its entirely justified.

(10) Medical treatment against someone's will is a crime. How many mutants there are in St. Canard I don't know. The Darkwing Duck episode _Mutancy on the Bounty_ makes it practically epidemic. Factory explosions are the most frequent cause. I'll say that Dr. Sarah Bellum discovered that in curing all current mutants, there'll be no incidents of mutancy in the future. Ridiculous? Yes, but so are the mutants.

(11) I believe Scrooge has made a fortune off Gizmoduck merchandise ever since Fenton first wore the suit. I actually think the reason Gizmoduck patrols the front of the money bin is mostly to sell merchandise: (a) All in all, Gizmoduck's not really there all that often (b) He was originally hired only because Scrooge thought the money bin would be out of his sight (c) Scrooge and Gizmoduck have money bin alarms, allowing them to rush over as needed (d) Scrooge has plenty of traps, which were dependable enough in the first season

(12) In his better moments, I don't think Darkwing Duck would begrudge the safer, normal St. Canard. Anyway, having an arch-enemy will give him something to do. I suspect, however, Gosalyn would now hate Scrooge McDuck.

In my opinion, Scrooge doesn't do really anything wrong in this chapter. That is, unless you take an issue with curing mutancy in insane criminals, and securely hospitalizing them.


	4. McDuck's Duckburg

McDuck's Duckburg

And then . . . Duckburg and the Beagles.

Ma Beagle's face turned red with anger as she remembered how it had started. Glomgold had stolen some sort of magical artifact from Barkladesh. Apparently it turned things to gold, some said it had almost turned the entire world to gold. It was unclear what had actually happened, as part of the artifact's effect . . . the supposed gold effect . . . was to confuse everybody's memory. That is, everybody who wasn't directly involved. (1)

Ma Beagle remembered that Big Time told her that he had turned Scrooge's bratty nephews into gold. Did that lead to Scrooge's crusade against her and her family? Or had it already been ramping up?

The first sign of trouble had been when Bank Job, Bugle and Baby Face were caught robbing a bank. Rather than be placed in the Duckburg Jail, they were sent straight to Aquatraz. They weren't allowed to receive any cakes from home, and they were even segregated into separate cells. Ma Beagle fumed for weeks, to no avail. (2)Why had the Duckburg Police suddenly gotten wise? Really, it should have been her first warning that the Mayor of Duckburg and the State Governor were trying to appease Scrooge. Whispers of a lawsuit against the city were in the winds, and with the fall of Lawrence Loudmouth, Scrooge had goodwill to spare.

Then Ma Beagle's luck began to fail. An unsuccessful scheme to fraudulently wed herself to McDuck landed her in jail.(3) This was a first, it was she who rescued her boys from the slammer not vice versa. _She_ had never gone to jail herself (4). However, things weren't that bad, her lawyer pulled some sort of legal manoeuver and sprung her with the help of a sympathetic judge. (5) Soon thereafter, in an attempt to prove herself mother of the year, she and her boys were both locked up. (6) Ma Beagle was again released, the same judge gave her a suspended sentence due to her age and her lack of a criminal record. Everything had worked out fine, but it was humiliating and extremely un-Beagle like to escape from jail through legal loopholes.

Then there was an ominous turn. Just before the ancient artifact fiasco, Ma Beagle's sympathetic judge was forced off the bench due to some personal financial irregularities. Suspiciously, Scrooge McDuck's former accountant, Wimpleton, had been auditing the city's books as well as those of various state government players. Why Wimpleton, arguably the best accountant in Duckburg? (7) Scrooge's doing, of course.

The hammer came down within a week after that gold business. Scrooge McDuck filed a multi-billion dollar lawsuit against the city and the state. Wrongful imprisonment three times over. False arrest. Illegally constructing a freeway on his property. Harassment. Etcetera, etcetera, and etcetera. The case was soon settled out of court. To most people, the city's business went on as usual. Ma Beagle, however, realized that there had been a seismic shift. Why would the city suddenly erect a giant billboard of Scrooge welcoming people into town? (8)

Big Time, Burger, Bouncer and Baggy were caught. One by oneher sons were sent to Aquatraz. Then, one by one their _cousins_ as well. Soon, half the prison was filled were Beagles, all kept in solitary confinement. There they stayed, guarded by a veritable army of armed guards.

Ma Beagle looked forlornly around her lonely board and batten home in the woods. No way for her boys to escape, no way to free them. Ma Beagle was all alone. But . . . someday she's figure out a way. Someday.

"Beagles don't give up," she said.

The End

(1) _The Golden Goose_. I interpret the one of the effects of the world turning to gold, and turning back to normal, to be mass confusion and fogged memory. The alternative would be worldwide accolades for Scrooge and the secret of the golden goose to be universally known. It's more convenient for the world to think it was some sort of hoax.

(2) Bank Job, Bugle and Baby Face have cameos during _Super Ducktales_. After that, they've unaccountably disappeared. My explanation is they've been sent to Aquatraz as a move to appease Scrooge. The state traditionally treated the Beagles as merely Duckburg's problem.

(3) _The Bride Wore Stripes. _

(4) In the first season, Ma Beagle always escaped. The idea that Ma Beagle was never actually in jail contradicts her striped gown in _The Bride Wore Stripes_, but I'll say that's just Ma Beagle's preference. In _Super Ducktales Part 4, Billionaire Beagle Boys Club_, Ma Beagle states that she'd attended reform school. Technically, that's not jail.

(5) I'll say that the prosecutor foolishly charged her with attempted murder instead of fraud. After losing on the attempted murder charge, he dropped the case entirely.

(6) _The New Gizmo Kids on the Block_. Ma Beagle would a first time offender, but given her crime spree she wouldn't escape jail.

(7) Wimpleton appears in _Dime Enough for Luck_, and more notably _Catch as Cash Can Part 2, A Whale of a Bad Time_. He informs Scrooge that a sea monster ate his ice crime.

(8) The billboard is seen in the Darkwing Duck episode _Tiff of the Titans_.

So, all Scrooge used his influence for was a cleanup of city government, some free promotional space, and a one way ticket to Aquatraz for the Beagles.


End file.
